I have reflected on how much I am like my two year old in my spiritual life over the past few days. Here are a few examples. The other day
Lylah was sitting in her car seat all strapped in and wearing a snowman purse that my mom gave her for Christmas last year. She loves to have a purse to fill with rocks,
acorns, and other valuables. In this case, she was wearing the purse and decided to try to get it off as I was driving. She was tugging with all she strength to get the thing off, turning red in the face, and getting so frustrated. I saw what she was doing and told her that we would be at our destination when we turned the next corner and that I could easily get it off for her. I knew that it was a really simple solution and that she was trying to get the thing off in such a way that the only way she would have success would be if her head could
detach first. She, however, in her "Do it Myself" stage, was determined and never stopped trying until I helped her, quickly and easily, when we
turned the corner. I thought then that I am so much that way. I want what I want in exactly the way I want it and in exactly the time frame I want. And God is right there saying to me, in the same words I was using to my little girl, " I can fix this in just a minute, sweetie. Just let me get to the place we need to stop and I will fix it for you. You can't do it that way. You will just hurt yourself and still not get it. I promise I can fix it. Just wait just a minute." And I, like my own girl, continue to
struggle and pull and turn red in the face so I can do it in my own strength, even though I don't know how to fix it. I hope, however, that I will
always respond as she did by saying, "oh 'tank' you, Mommy," as soon as she was out of the bind.
The other example happened today in preschool. Poor
Lylah had to be woken up to go to school today so she was not in the best of moods in the morning for class. She had been sitting in a chair
and had gotten up to do
something else. When she got up, another child took her chair. She came back and wanted it again but was denied. She tossed herself on the ground, fully extended and face in the ground, and cried bitterly. It was very, very dramatic and pathetic. A
therapist had come in the room to work
with a child and tried to speak to
Lylah. She responded by saying, "Please don't talk to me right now because I am trying to cry about it." Again, so me and Jesus. I can't seem to get over myself long enough to move on or allow Jesus to console me or give me exactly
what I want but in a little different form. Oh, the things our little ones show us about lives and ourselves!
I did have a good laugh about the "fit" and her heartfelt expressions, though. How could I not!? It reminded me of what she said a couple of weeks ago. I was trying to give her cream of wheat for breakfast and she said, " I'm sorry, Mommy, but my mouth is closed." I am sure I could draw some symbolic or metaphoric analogy to this saying too. I mean, I didn't start college as and English major for nothing (or end it as a
psyc major, for that matter.) But I won't make any more analogies tonight. I will only say this: I am glad God has patience, and goodness, and mercy, and kindness, and so forth. He needs it for the likes of me and my stubborn ways. I am so blessed daily that he has not brushed me off or tossed me aside as a hopeless cause. Oh,"Tank" You, Jesus!